Why am I running?

I've been training for a race in October.  It's been an interesting time for me.  I have been pushing myself to run farther than I ever thought possible.  I have had good days and really bad days of training. I have to pray and ask Jesus to give me strength to continue on many runs.  I have had pep talks with myself.  I have pictured myself crossing the finish line and the joy I will feel after I complete this race.  Sometimes I persevere and feel so empowered after I push through and other times I give in to my flesh and quit before I reach the goal I had set.  On those occasions I feel disappointed in myself.  I have never worked at something long term quite like this.  I have had goals, but never set them so high so as not to be unreachable.  I want to complete this!  I want to do well.  I want to make my family and people that have supported me along the way proud.  I want to prove to me that I can push myself beyond what I thought was possible and not only survive but thrive.  

With all this said, I realize that I cannot do any of this in my own strength.  I am weak, and so often a quitter when it gets too hard.   But I have a helper ... God who lives in me.  He is the one I am speaking to on my long runs. He is the one who is speaking to me.  He is the one who I am asking to just help me run another mile. He is the one who is keeping me from injury.  God is keeping my heart beating (rather quickly).  God is the one who has made me who I am and is giving me the desire to do certain things...and right now that is to run 13.1 miles.

 Thinking about why I am pushing myself to a breaking point,sometimes I ask God," Why am I doing this race?" and in the same breath asking him to use it for His glory.  Somehow, I believe He will.  I want to be a light for Him.  That is really what this is all about.  I have surrendered my life to Him.  He directs my path. He has put this desire in my heart.  Right now he has me on a path of physical discipline like never before.  He is showing me how it also mirrors my spiritual run too.  I have plenty of time to listen to Him speak to me while I run mile after mile. When my race is completed I will know all the struggle was worth it.  Yep, running is so much like my life and in the end I want to receive a wonderful prize.  I will say all the struggle has been worth it.